scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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