conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
When did angry sex become our thing?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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