if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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