Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
