I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
