Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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