I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
