dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
