I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
