I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
