i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
