hell yes lets make some ravioli
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
