i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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