I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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