respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
