Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
my liver is dry heaving
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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