I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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