can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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