So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
