I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
