Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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