somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Two words: blizzard sex
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
