go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
