Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
