Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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