If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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