What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Drake has all the answers
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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