you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
my poor anus
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
