I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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