he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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