guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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