i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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