How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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