I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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