I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
