Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
