i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
