so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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