Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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