Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
