I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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