i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
