glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
