I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
no, he came in my armpit
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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