i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
