This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
