love makes seman taste better
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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