So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
