I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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