I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
